I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
