i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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