I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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