If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Randomize
