I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
