What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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