Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Randomize
