I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Randomize
