Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
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