is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Randomize
