you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
As shirtless as possible
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
