new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
