Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
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