i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I have so many feelings about this burrito
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Randomize
