Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
