Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Randomize
