He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
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