The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
No stitches, just platelets and will power
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
