Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Randomize
