That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
