And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
