Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Randomize
