Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Randomize