what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
