We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
