I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
