i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize