he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
