The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize
