She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
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