My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
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