Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
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