VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
I think I have vodka in my lungs
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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