We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
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