You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
