this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
