Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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