You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize