you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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