My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
