census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
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