Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Randomize