u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Randomize
