WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
