we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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