he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
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