***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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