you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
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