just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
