so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
