My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
i would punch a child for taco bell
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
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