i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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