If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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