is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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