the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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