I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Randomize
