High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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