Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
