Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Randomize
