can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize