yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize
