I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
