another moral hangover. fuck.
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Randomize
