We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
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