Farmville is her only friend.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
