we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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