You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
