So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Randomize
