she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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