Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Randomize
