How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize